This 7-Week-Old Baby Who Can "Talk" Thinks It's Poop-Filled Diaper Doesn't Stink
So this is where we’ve lowered the bar to in terms of accomplishments? A baby making a noise that kinda sorta sounds like a word and everybody is losing their damn minds over it? I’ll tell you what, nobody has it easier than babies. They don’t have to do anything and any little thing that they do gets a parade. My hatred of babies comes from a place of pure jealously. I just want to be rewarded and applauded for simple things too. I get out of bed in the morning? Applause. I take a shower? More applause. I wipe my own ass? The cheers and clapping bring down the house. It’s that simple. Being an adult sucks because all of those things are just assumed you’re gonna do them. It’s expected. Basically I want to be treated like a small child until I’m dead. Don’t think that’s too much to ask. Call me when that baby starts speaking in full sentences like the E-Trade baby.
Fuck you, Claire Sutton. Nobody likes a one upper.
In other baby-related news, a 17-pound baby was born in Brazil. My fat baby weight of almost 14 pounds becomes less and less extraordinary as each day passes. Sad.
